Rejection & Creativity.

Sway and sway—I am an artist.

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Kamakura, Japan

Whenever we act from a raw, honest place, we ignite our inner truth—this is creativity. This is the undeniable beauty that we all share. When we release our creative energy, authentically, we influence and inspire others to do the same.

Open palm, open gate, open heart.

This is the ebb and flow of the creative spirit. This is living awake and with compassion (hooray), but life is not always so simple or clear when it comes to this exchange.

Since I share a lot of my art and creative projects on social media, there is a unique opportunity for the feeling of failure. I share what I share and others can like or leave what I share.

On a good day, I feel supported and secure regardless of feedback, but other days, when the feedback is not there, it can feel empty. I am human. And sometimes the lack of feedback feels like road block on the wave of my creative flow.

No Signal. No receiver.

Sometimes we end up recoiling our words. We start doubting ourselves and questioning our abilities. Doubt is that old no-friend who shows up right when we are at our lowest points just to push our buttons.

I think we can all agree that the lines get blurred when it comes to sharing our souls with the world on social media platforms, so how do we maintain a healthy balance of sharing our creativity without the burden of morbid self-reflection?

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Tokyo National Museum

Rejection is too familiar. Remember that we’ve been here before. And don’t burn down the house just because it is raining. This is not new.

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Image via @andrewgibby + @lindseyhallwrites.

Somedays people really love what I put out there, and I am so lucky to have so many people let me know all about it. This is a rich exchange. This is where we go wide awake and everything is fine. Other days, we are wide awake, and it’s crickets. No one likes feeling rejected. It just does not feel good to think that we are outsiders even coming from this outsider. We all want to feel loved and accepted.

I read an article today in Elephant Journal

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Armless Meditation, Auguste Rodin; 1894

about rejection and our evolutionary psychology. We are wired for needing acceptance because without acceptance, we would have died as early humans. Needing to stay with the tribe was necessary for survival. I see this just as simply with the rhesus monkeys study on attachment and maternal bonding. We all know how important the need for love and care truly are on a scientific level. It all counts, and we are finding out more and more just how much it counts with the structure of our brains. Love and acceptance develop the very essence of who we are, so before you start to think that you are the only person who gets shaken up about rejection, think again. It is in our design to feel rejection intensely, but how do we move through the feeling before it becomes a set-back?

  • Reflection : Where is this rejection feeling really coming from? Try and think about where this feeling has been here before. Remember that time…?

Rejection comes and goes. It is not forever, and it is not a defining factor in our lives. When you are feeling lost, steady your grip. Stay awake. Sobriety, yoga and meditation have all taught me how to stay awake and take a rolling pin to my insides. Staying helps me work out the kinks. What used to hurt and never stopped hurting is still built up inside of us, so why not find out what is really there. What is this hurting?

Do not walk out on the truth, especially when times are tough. Stay through the storm because it will not last forever. Stay right here. You will be okay.

Advice on Advice

It’s not about the outcome. It is about the feeling of release. Once it is out there, this is enough. Once it is out there, it is no longer ours to overthink and take back.

I do not think enough people share the full wheel of emotions on the internet. For those of us in recovery, learning how to let normal emotions exist within ourselves is a big challenge in the beginning. Seeing an incomplete picture of this process seems almost unfair to someone reading and hoping to gain anything real from this experience. It seems like everyone has advice these days because giving advice is more comfortable than needing advice sometimes, but I share the advice that I need. This is the level it is on for me, and I continue following writers who bring it to this level.

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Wheel of Emotions

Some readers are looking for a saint. Some readers are looking for a hero and solution for their incompleteness, but the truth is that we all experience happiness, sadness, rejection, fear, anger, jealousy. I choose to share all of these with my readers because it is all a part of the process. Unfolding ourselves from this place inspires others to tap into their own light and truth. If we are ever wary of our purpose here, take a breath and ask if the air is authentic. Some people are not looking for what we are offering, and it is not about us at all.

Flying Awake

“The future is just happening so quickly. Acceleration is accelerating.” – Douglas Coupland

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Senso Ji- Tokyo

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had the perfect conditions required to reach our full potential? I am learning that we actually do have the perfect conditions to reach our full potential at all times. Living out here on the edge of life gets a little difficult sometimes, but when we follow truth in the present moment, life doesn’t seem so complicated. Rest easy in the truth. Rest easy in that we can see things exactly as they are, not as we imagine them to be. Flying awake we are sure to trust what is there.

It only feels like a race. Racing is a feeling. We are not running for our lives here. There is not some other way that this happens. It is happening right now. This is it. We are not missing out on anything anywhere else. There are no perfect people or magic happenings that we are incapable of understanding. It is all right here. I know I’ve said this before because everyone has said this before. It’s just one of those things that we need to hear over and over again.

P.S. Remember this:  I am important because I am alive. The second I start to devalue someone else, I am devaluing myself. If someone devalues me, they too are devaluing themselves. We are the same.

❤ Jacqui

For more on the sobriety journey, follow The OAM on Instagram @the_oam, and check out The OAM facebook page.

4 comments

  • Jacqui- You are now officially my virtual psychotherapist!!! You’ve touched on so many themes today. When I write and post, I try to let it be about pure creative process. Of course, I struggle with that and I am never able to post an organic, unedited piece. But that’s part of the creative process for me because I find editing fun. I constantly have to remind myself that I must continue to blog without concern about outcome (ie. how it is received). I find it hard! On my private instagram, which is the only other social media I (sometimes) participate in, I find I am most vulnerable to the “absences” as you say – I mean, how hard is it for a friend to ❤️ one of my silly pet posts? Right?! To me, a “like” on insta is an acknowledgement that you are checking in with a friend as in “oh hey I haven’t seen you in a long while but I’m interested to see what’s going in your life.” I find the “absences” scream “reject!” at me. The absences on instagram bring out my passive-aggressive side. It’s funny but also pathetic lol. It’s also the reason I have to take extended Instagram “holidays.” I think because I’m anonymous on my Poison Grigio blog, the absences don’t bother me nearly as much. And also, as a former sobersphere lurker myself, I know many people may read and benefit from my stories without having an online persona. Anyway, as always I think you are a brilliant wise old soul 😘❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    • I got so much just from reading this comment! Yes it is crazy how we can get sucked into the instagram downward spiral. It’s a lot like gambling I think. Lol There are so many things that feel good to just say out loud about this you know ? It’s fun to laugh together because we all do this! You are wonderful. Thank you for reading and voicing your opinions on here. Your feedback is always appreciated. This is a safe place here even with two people. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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