Our shower is finally working! My hair feels clean for the first time in weeks. I honestly thought Canadians just had extremely low water pressure to save the environment or something, so I’ve been acting pretty cool about this whole shower thing like,”What left over conditioner in my hair these past few weeks? Now this… this is a shower! This is normal. We are soooo Canada”. That shower was like a dripping faucet from some very great height that you had to try and stand underneath at exactly the correct angles to catch the soapy parts of your body. My neck still hurts just thinking about all of it, but I wanted to embrace life here as a Canadian, showers and all! They could have told me to walk backwards into elevators, and I would’ve obliged.
Traveling lesson 1: Avoid trying too hard to hide your “Americanisms” as you may end up losing common sense.
Anyways, it’s raining this morning. Gush. My favorite. Clean hair, coffee AND a pouring grey sky? I am a luc-ky la-dy. This is the first time I’ve ever left the states, and to be fair, I was already super nervous about leaving Houston since that’s where I found a yoga family and a solid foundation for my sobriety. I came here clenching Michael’s hand and really trying not to lose it after that first time I left yoga sobbing (yes, there’s already been a second time), but life here is gaining momentum and guiding me through greater and more meaningful experiences. Like saving polar bears while doing yoga with badass ladies (hair flip).
I did not expect to meet such beautiful, caring, and seemingly hand picked women here in Winnipeg. The timing of all of this is so perfect that I can’t help but be a little suspicious like wait a minute here….could this possibly be happening to me? I’m learning to let the good stuff happen, and I’m not going to lie, this got a lot easier with Michael’s big heart and constant cheering for even my smallest achievements all of the time. I sort of had to accept the good stuff and let life do its thing. I’m growing into the mindset that no one can put a limit on the amount of love I receive in my life, and since I wake up next to love overflowing, I indulge because like I said, I’m a luc-ky la-dy.
When I look back at my life in Atlanta, GA a few years ago it’s hard to think that I am even the same girl. I let myself fall hard. I did not care that I did not care about what happened to me. I treated myself like shit because I believed something in me was innately broken and hurting people around me. I had no friends, and my family was over it. They were tired of the heartache because watching their daughter/sister carry herself around like that was simply too much to go through anymore, and I really didn’t blame them. If life gives you endless opportunities to change and puts the people you need in your life when you need them, I believed that life itself had lost hope in me. I believed all of that because I’d already known a good sober life and chose to start drinking again. I believed in a beautiful design to unfold each of us into holy bursting roses, but I knew this would never happen to me. How wrong did I have it?
Life is difficult, so why not give yourself the rich and wholesome parts when they are presented to you? I think you should fill your heart enough to share it and then some. There’s plenty to go around, and as my friend from Atlanta used to say to me, “You’re going to be dead a lot longer than you’re going to be alive, so why are you rushing it? ” ❤